Lest we Forget charity begins at home.
Both Mama Johny and Jane’s Dad were born in the mid-80s. The anthem, ” The African child doesn’t understand anything except the rod of discipline” could be a familiar one to you.
I wrapped my head around our African parenting heritage. As much as times have changed. Some of the gold mines in the African parenting styles were:
1. Community-based: “It takes a village to raise a child” was real—everyone, from aunties to neighbors, had a say. It was a communal approach that had everyone compliment the missing links. A very demanding uncle with yet a supportive Auntie meant that the teenager would get both support and challenge in equal measure.
2. Authoritarian Leaning: Respect and obedience were highly emphasized, often reinforced with discipline (sometimes harsh). That helped to give a reality check to the teenagers as they grew up.
4. Collectivist vs. Individualist: Kids were raised to think about the family/community more than personal desires. The family system was well knit to some degree. Unlike the present which looks like everyone for themselves and God for us all.
5. Storytelling & Proverbs: Lessons were passed through stories, parables, and lived experiences rather than direct instructions. The lessons were passed in a less threatening manner without sounding like a ‘lecture’.
However,
Modern African parenting is shifting, with more emotional awareness and individual expression being encouraged.